🎃 Films ‘n Goblins II.

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As Halloween approaches, we at the Hackquire™ team have been thinking about when the Hackquire™ book will be available to buy. It will definitely be a treat—one that ends the tricks, the ghosts, goblins, ghouls, and demons, and the weirdness that is the working world. Inspired by that, we thought: what if Hackquire™ made horror movies?

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🎃 Below is a quick index of this blog notes post.

1. The Opportunity

2. The Solution

3. The Impact

🎃 1/3. The Opportunity:

The opportunity was to imagine if the Hackquire™ book was a movie you could buy tickets for, stream, or download—what would that look like? It was also a chance for us to further develop the characters and gray-area hacks we’ve acquired, filtered, and tested for you, all within the feel of horror and spooky films.

🎃 2/3. The Solution:

The solution was to create 10 movie titles as posters, like the ones you’d see on movie book covers, thumbnails on Netflix, on posters outside the cinema, or at an overpriced retro cinema in Brooklyn that charges double the normal price—but, hey, they show movies through a Sony DHR-1000 DVD player, so it's worth it.

🎃 3/3. The Impact:

The impact is that we’ll be watching some Halloween-themed movies this weekend and next. We also appreciate the privilege of being able to do that, and as our previous post mentioned, we acknowledge that this isn’t a time of joy for everyone. It matters to us and aligns with our vision for the book and its impact on everyone.

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🎃 10 Hackquire movies:

1. Absent Teams

2. Commute

3. Email of Fear

4. Home Office

5. HR Review

6. Kitchen Demon

7. Long Meetings

8. Review You

9. Rumour Makers

10. Virtual Meetings

🎃 1. Absent Teams:

Rating: PG

The meeting was due to start at 9:00 AM, but no one showed. Absent Teams takes you into the dark reality where invites show "maybes" and "declines" on the invite list. In this biopic thriller, the team is a no-show. A quick Ouija board game spells the word "H.A.N.G.O.V.E.R Z.O.M.B.I.E.S." What could that cryptic message mean?

🎃 2. Commute:

Rating: PG-13

It’s Monday. Again. Except this time, the journey doesn’t end. Ever. The new Hackquire™ series follows our space-suited commuter, forever trapped on the NYC train’s Midnight Black Line. At each stop, a holographic happy memory appears, but the doors always shut before they can step out. How will they ever access their happy place?

🎃 3. Email of Fear:

Rating: PG

Ever been haunted by an email? In this late-night thriller, the subject line of any email sent after dark morphs into a ghost based on the words in the header. When opened, it releases the monster lurking behind the screen. Then, at 7:00 PM, an email arrives with a single subject: “?” Should they dare to open it? What method should they use?

🎃 4. Home Office:

Rating: PG-13

In the age of remote work, one house hides a terrible secret. Internet-connected devices begin communicating through the local Wi-Fi, with a sinister goal: to destroy the once-safe home office. The TV turns on at 5:00 AM, smart lights flash red at random times, and the fridge decides to defrost itself. Then, the air fryer gets angry!

🎃 5. HR Review:

Rating: PG-13

HR Review, the latest from Hackquire™ Studios, reveals the horror of HR meetings. Each time a cliché like “We are a family” is uttered, someone the employee loves gets bored. The only way to stop it? Say the magic phrase. But what is it, and can the employee figure it out in time?

🎃 6. Kitchen Demon:

Rating: PG

Who stole your fancy soy milk from the fridge? In this Hackquire™ documentary, the team investigates office food theft around the world. This six-part series shows how the Kitchen Demons lurk, ready to snatch someone else's items. The more pretentious the food name, the greater the risk—from Gravity Free Baked Bread to Air-Infused Pepper.

🎃 7. Long Meetings:

Rating: PG-13

"When will it end?" That’s the question echoing in every never-ending meeting. Long Meetings, the latest Hackquire™ film, delves into the psychological torment of endless, B* calls. The Meeting Devil extends the length of the meeting every time someone thinks about it ending. How can they stop thinking about it and finally end the agony?

🎃 9. Rumour Makers:

Rating: PG-13

They take your soul from AM to PM. Rumour Makers is the Hackquire™ movie that captures the poisonous whispers that drift through the office. Every rumor is a shadow, growing darker and larger until it swallows your reputation whole. Can you survive a day in their toxic midst?

🎃 9. Slack:

Rating: PG-13

Slack is the Hackquire™ movie that has captured audiences around the world. The story follows Slack users who fall victim to those prickly-thorn types who attack the moment someone switches their status to online. The messages don’t stop until the targets of the Slack Serpents start to fight back, leading to an uproar in the next monthly meeting.

🎃 10. Virtual Meetings:

Rating: PG

You thought you’d escaped the office, but the virtual world is far worse. In this Hackquire™ thriller, every Zoom call is a trap, every Teams notification a trick. Did you get the link? If you click, there’s no going back. Beware the hand reaching through the screen.